In the months since my mother’s passing, I have spent a lot
of time looking for ways to manage my grief.
Small things often do make a big difference, and the reality is that
grief simply takes time. You have to be
with it and go through it in order to get past it.
However, in the meantime, as life is going on, as life is
want to do, it is necessary to find ways to stay chin up in order to keep
moving forward. In both the best and
worst of times it is often recommended by nearly every spiritual teacher out
there to keep a gratitude journal. I’ve
highly recommended this method myself.
Gratitude keeps the heart light, even a broken grieving heart, if you
can make the shift. But I found that the
more I wrestled with my feelings of loss and grief the harder it was to connect
to the feelings of gratitude even as I was in the process of writing about
things that I know I am grateful for.
One day, I decided to just count my blessings. Literally.
Ever one of them, as they happened.
“I woke up this morning. That
means I’m still alive. It’s a blessing.” That’s one.
“I have a roof over my head. A
good one. And I like this house. It’s a blessing.” That’s 2…maybe 3 if you want to be technical about
it. “There’s one banana left, just what
I need for breakfast. It’s a blessing.” So I did this all day, any time I thought
about it, and do you know what? 72
blessings in one day! Now, even if you’re
feeling low and only come up with 10 or 12 things all day long, that’s a
seriously blessed day. Did you know that
you were that blessed every day? It’s
one thing to think about all the little things we take for granted, or even big
things we quickly forget about, but if you write them down, one at a time, and
then give them a number and actually count them, you may be totally astonished
at how blessed you truly are. Often I
did not actually appreciate that something was a blessing until I wrote it down
and counted it as such. “Five of my
clients thanked me, with genuine gratitude for the class I taught today. Wow, that is a blessing!”
It’s a very simple
practice. You might even try alternating
between gratitude journaling and counting blessings. I’ve been able to change my perspective on
bad, sad, and lonely days many times just by realizing that in the midst of all
the pain, hurt, loss, confusion, and dissatisfaction, there are still a wealth
of blessings even on the worst of days.
The pain may still be there, but at least when you have a list of
blessings to review at the end of the day, your last thought will be light and
filled with gratitude regardless of whatever else you’ve been feeling. Ending on a positive note is always a good
way to begin a little better in the morning.
